


Peter Remembers

by nomical



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drug Use, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomical/pseuds/nomical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter remembers everything about his relationship with Gwen Stacy; from the first moment he saw her to the last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peter Remembers

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Main Round One of the [Marvel Shipping Games](http://marvelshippinggames.dreamwidth.org/) for the prompt of "Memories". It was not submitted in time for voting but I still like it enough to post so here we are.

Peter remembers the first time he saw Gwen Stacy. Her blonde hair was pulled back by a hair band into a neat ponytail and her nose was wrinkled in concentration as she read _Blink_ by Malcolm Gladwell. He remembers being impressed that a twelve year old was reading something off the New York Times Best Seller List. He remembers the way she ignored the chaos of the cafeteria around her, completely absorbed in her book. He remembers the way Flash Thompson ripped the book out of her hands and ran out of the room. He remembers mustering up his courage to run after him. He remembers the look on Gwen's face, annoyed but amused at Flash's teasing. He remembers sitting down on the bench and trying not to stare. He remembers not talking to her for four years.

Peter remembers being down on the ground, taking a beating he didn't deserve for a kid who didn't deserve it either. He remembers the anger in Flash's eyes and the feeling of certainty that he was going to break his nose. He remembers Gwen pushing her way through the crowd into a fight that wasn't hers. He remembers her calling Flash out on his intellectual failings in front of their entire year. He remembers hoping Flash wouldn't hit her because he didn't think he could get up off the ground fast enough. He remembers the fire in Gwen's eyes and her refusal to back down. He remembers Gwen convincing Flash to leave with her, ensuring the fight wouldn't continue behind her back. He remembers Gwen looking over her shoulder to make sure he could get up before she left. He remembers being more upset that his film was exposed than he was at being beaten up.

Peter remembers their first conversation. He remembers Gwen tricking him into telling her his name. He remembers not caring if she didn't know it before. He remembers trying to play it cool and guessing at her name. He remembers her hair dancing across her shoulders as she turned her head between him and the blackboard. He remembers flirting about a concussion.

Peter remembers following Gwen's ponytail down the sleek halls of OSCORP. He remembers his heart racing when his cover was blown. He remembers Gwen's furious stare as she told him to stay with the group. He remembers wondering how angry she'd be when his absence was discovered. He remembers the disappointment in her eyes as she took his badge away. He remembers the sharp pain in his neck and wondering if his consciencewas punishing him physically.

Peter remembers standing mortified in a hallway. He remembers the sun illuminating the halls in a way you didn't see during regular school hours. He remembers awkwardly fumbling to ask Gwen out. He remembers Gwen fumbling right back in a teasing way without being cruel. He remembers thinking Gwen probably didn't know what to do either. He remembers the way his heart raced as he skipped down the hall.

Peter remembers being in that same hallway a day later, his heart racing for a different reason. He remembers shaking with adrenaline as he lowered Flash to the ground. He remembers the way Gwen bravely stepped in his path and pulled him into a fierce hug. He remembers wanting to melt into her embrace but also the clawing need to get away from everyone and everything. He remembers kicking himself as he walked out the door, and how yesterday he would have given everything for Gwen to hug him.

Peter remembers swinging up to the fire escape outside Gwen's room. He remembers making a fool out of himself with the flowers, his wardrobe and his defence of Spider-Man. He remembers Gwen laughing through the tension though her eyes betrayed her inner panic. He remembers thinking he'd ruined his chances with his dream girl in one idiotic fight. He remembers the flood of relief when Gwen broke the silence on the rooftop and feeling like maybe he hadn't wrecked everything. He remembers mustering his courage in a way he hadn't done since he was twelve. He remembers fighting the urge to kiss Gwen before telling her his secret. He remembers the disappointed slump of her shoulders as she turned away and the look of disbelief on her face as he pulled her back towards him. He remembers their first kiss as being far too short and tasting of fish but somehow being utterly perfect. He remembers hating himself for how easily he leapt off the building and chased after the sirens.

Peter remembers watching the funeral from the top of the church. He remembers Gwen turning to look for him and hiding like a coward behind the ornate statues. He remembers not being able to hide anymore when Gwen knocked on his door a few hours later. He remembers the sad twist of her mouth and the tears that refused to fall from her eyes as she called him out for not being there. He remembers wanting nothing more than to hold her and not being able to because of a promise to a fallen ally. He remembers his own tears as he had to break her heart even further. He remembers Gwen being clever; always being far too clever and seeing through his lie in less than five seconds. He remembers his non answer being the answer Gwen needed. He remembers his insides twisting into knots and needing to tell Aunt May everything. He remembers Aunt May walking away, confident that his troubles were that of a regular teenage boy.

Peter remembers feeling like his world was crumbling down when Gwen refused to look at him in the hallways. He remembers torturing himself for weeks trying to stay away, but giving in to the inevitable fact that he was a teenage boy and incapable of making good choices. He remembers leaning forward and whispering to Gwen and the twitch of her ponytail as she tried to hide her smile. He remembers feeling hope for the first time since the funeral.

Peter remembers the good times, the bad times, and everything in between. He remembers cheering on the sidelines for Gwen at the interstate quiz bowl championships. He remembers Gwen cheering in the roped off crowd as he faced down the Vulture. He remembers trying to impress her by saving his money for weeks and still only having enough to take her for dinner at Lombardi's. He remembers the fond smile on Gwen's face as she took his hand and dragged him to McDonald's instead. He remembers lying in Central Park with Gwen's head on his stomach, letting her voice wash over him as she read their textbooks to him. He remembers far too many Friday nights stolen by criminals and thugs that should have belonged to her. He remembers the way her eyes sparkled in the late autumn sun and the way they sparkled with tears when he talked about disappointing her father. He remembers the feeling of certainty, even in the bad times, that they were going to make it.

Peter remembers the last time he saw Gwen Stacy. He remembers the terror on her face and the resigned way she closed her eyes. He remembers the knowing with conviction that she was safe and the world sliding away from him when he realised she wasn't. He remembers curling around her on the tower floor and sobbing until the sirens became too loud to ignore. He remembers pressing his face to her neck and breathing in her scent one last time before shooting away up into the rafters. He remembers perching in the shadows as the police called for an ambulance and carried her away.

Peter remembers going to H.E.A.R.T. Clinic and pounding on Dr. Wirtham's door. He remembers falling into Elias' arms and shaking with uncontrollable grief. He remembers Elias holding his face between his hands and speaking softly. He remembers pulling his head free and clutching at his coat, begging, all traces of humility gone. He remembers the sadness in Elias' eyes as he fills a syringe with a viscous substance. He remembers lying down in the machine and thinking they needn't bother with the restraints. He remembers the sharp bite of a needle in his arm and the whirring of the machines as they sprung to life. He remembers the helmet descending over his eyes. He remembers darkness.

Peter forgets.

Peter goes to college. He gets top marks in everything. He gets an internship at OSCORP, though now it's called something else. He eats his lunch at a café down the street. He meets a pretty red-haired waitress named Mary-Jane. They laugh far too loudly and Mary-Jane often gets told off by her boss. He always leaves her a large tip. One day he leaves her his phone number. Sometimes Mary-Jane wears her hair in a ponytail, a neat headband holding it all in place. He can't help but stare at it, tuning out whatever conversation they were having, until she notices he's done it again and takes it off. It always takes him a few minutes to shake off the feeling that he's forgotten something very important.

Peter saves the city as Spider-Man. The newspapers are hot and cold on him. The police try to catch him. Aunt May accepts his excuses. The Daily Bugle buys his photos. The world turns on.

Peter has trouble sleeping. Even on the days he's been running since sunrise, when it comes time to sleep he always has to fight for it. Sometimes he wakes up crying but he can't remember why.


End file.
